Palm trees and AK-47’s

This one starts with me in a bad place. I was there, she was not. It wasn’t home without her and I couldn’t stay.

I have an old friend in Bosnia so I went to stay with him for a week. I work from home so as long as there’s internet, my laptop is my office, I can be wherever. He was wonderful, his whole family treated me like I was one of them. But I was there, she was not. My allergies were acting up. I’m not actually allergic to anything, it’s just what I say when there are tears in my eyes. The week went by, I stayed on. It helped to be away. We had fun, we went on roadtrips, hung out with people, but still, I was there, she was not. The week turned into 5. And still I had no real desire to go back home. So I figured, why not lean into it. If that’s the way things were going to be, why not make the best of it? Let’s go on an adventure!

Digression

This is a story about a little black ball. It doesn’t really have much to do with the rest of the story but it is likely to have something to do with a future one.

Don’t worry, the real story starts soon.

While I was in Sarajevo I made a long walk along the river part of my daily routine. The river has cascades that create small waterfalls. Bottles, debris and such tend to get trapped in them.

In one such trap a black ball caught my eye. It was much more lively than the rest of the captives, it would actually jump up in the air after it would get pulled under by the flow. And it would get much further out than the others before being pulled back in. So far out that it looked like it would actually break free from the vortex but then, just when I thought it could make it, it would get pulled back in. I stood and watched for a while. The energetic little ball struggling to move on, getting soooo close and failing time and time again. What a perfect metaphor for life, I thought. But the next day I came back to the same spot and it was gone! All the others were still there but the brave little black one was gone! I continued downstream and found it in the next waterfall, fighting the next battle. I told my friends about it and now the ball had fans cheering it on. I followed it for days as it made its way downstream. I almost lost hope when it got stuck for 3 days in one spot, but on the fourth day it had moved on. It was going to reach the Black sea! And someone was going to find it there and play with it again! After a couple of weeks, it got to a quiet corner where no forces seemed to be acting on it. It looked like it had finally reached the end of the line. It stood still for days. On my last day in Sarajevo, I went to look in on it one last time. It was there, perfectly still. And I thought, no. This is not how the story of the little black ball ends. It was near the opposite bank. There was a bridge a few hundred meters down. There was a fence so to get to the ball I would need to walk along a treacherous, snow covered slope. I went for it. I made it. I had to lie down in the snow to reach it but I got it.

I took it to my car and it will go places with me. I will make sure someone plays with it. And one day, maybe I will take it to the Black sea.

Back to the main story!

Planning (o.n.o)

Madagascar sounds cool. Tickets are a bit pricey now, though. Ok, so what’s an exotic place on the opposite hemisphere with affordable tickets? Look, Mozambique, 400€. Do they have 4G? Yes? Perfect. Visa at the border? Sold!

We’ll try to figure out a way to make it to Madagascar from there. Also, Zimbabwe is close, that sounds cool. Let’s put that on the todo list as well!

That’s about as much planning as we did. We had to go to Rijeka to get my passport and an international drivers license. The flight was from Zagreb.

On our way

We needed to leave Sarajevo Thursday afternoon so I could have my international license made on Friday and we could catch our flight on Saturday. We were leaving winter behind.

Croatia had policies in place for foreigners to enter. If they were passing through, they had to leave the country within 12 hours. We needed more so we had to jump through hoops. My bosnian friend needed a PCR test and booking confirmation. Even though he was entering the country with me, in my car, and was welcome to stay with me, this wasn’t good enough for my government, he had to book accommodation elsewhere. So we made a reservation and printed out the confirmation email. They were not happy with this at the border. We showed them the original email on our phone and they decided to let us in even though they were within their rights to deny him entry because this was not a legitimate proof of payment. Thanks for that, kind border control person! 🙂

Coming home I felt like I was diving under water. I could stand this for just about as long as I could hold my breath. I was there, she was not. This was not home.

Friday went by mercifully quickly. Got the license, got our PCRs for the flight, called a couple of friends over to see them before I go.

On our way to Zagreb I overtook a couple of cars, going a little faster than I should have. I was surprised to see what looked like a family car flashing police lights behind me. Well, damn, I thought. It turned out he was interested in drugs. He asked me if I was holding, gave me a breathalyser and finally let us go with no ticket or mention of speeding. He was actually quite a nice guy. My lucky day! 🙂

We got to Zagreb airport with plenty of time to spare. At the boarding gate they kindly printed out our PCRs for us. They said we could be denied entry to Mozambique without a return ticket. I said naah, we’ll be fine. A really nice plane with free alcohol took us to Doha.

We were given metal cutlery, that seemed a little strange given how you can’t bring a nail file onboard.

The bus between terminals drove forever, we started joking that it was taking us the rest of the way to Mozambique. A larger plane took us to Maputo. It was not crowded so we got 3 seats each all to ourselves, we actually slept quite comfortably.

Maputo

Summer. Quite a change from negative celsius in Sarajevo and single digit in Rijeka. We got to the border control. They asked for our PCRs, all good. Booking, all good. Return ticket – we don’t have one. You have to have one. We don’t. We want to stay longer if we like it. No, you must have it. But we don’t know when we want to leave, we may even leave the country by bus. No, you must have a ticket. But we don’t know when we want to leave. The guy then makes an exhausted face and sends us to his colleague. She tells us the same thing, we can’t enter without a return ticket. We stick to our story and we go back and forth for a while. She makes the same exhausted face as the guy before her and calls someone on the phone. They talk for a while. Finally, she gives us the visa application forms. We borrow a pen from a security guard, fill those out, pay and get our visas. I kept saying we’d be fine all along, didn’t I? 🙂

We got ripped off a little when we bought a sim card with 4G at the airport. We negotiated some 40% off the price for a taxi into town so we probably only got ripped off a little on that one.

We checked in, went out for a walk. It reminded me of Zanzibar but bigger and with much less charm.

Still, it was new and interesting. And still, I was there, she was not.

We got stopped by a police officer. He told us he was supposed to arrest us for not wearing our face masks. Apparently, one is mandatory even outside. We took him just about as seriously as we did the guy who said we couldn’t get in, of course he wasn’t going to arrest us. But we played along, apologised, put our masks on and thanked him for letting us off with a warning.

Traffic is confusing here. Besides everything being the wrong way around (they drive on the left side). A lot of streets are one way. Lanes are physically separated and it’s not always immediately obvious what direction the traffic is going to be coming from (i.e. where you need to look first when crossing the road). Also, everything is a taxi stop.

The few pedestrian traffic lights that do work don’t seem to matter. Pedestrian crossings don’t seem to mean that you have the right of way. Best I could figure out, it is your duty as a pedestrian to not get killed. As long as you succeed in this, you’re fine whatever you do. The police never look twice at jaywalkers.

Electrical wiring is also kinda confusing.

There are armed guards everywhere! And I don’t mean armed as in batons and side arms, I mean combat shotguns and assault rifles. They seem very chill, though, friendly even. So they’re not scary. To be honest, they kinda made me feel safe.

The city doesn’t seem to be very tourist oriented. No gift shops or such. A lot of street vendors, though. A couple a little pesky but most will leave you alone after you say no once.

It’s ok but not great. Some sights but not many. Some nice views but not exceptional.

There was a lot of not-so-nice to see as well.

Monday through Thursday my friend worked, I had a little more free time. I’d go out for a long walk every morning, come back when it got too hot and we’d go out in the evening to get some food and maybe a drink. I found out that they were really touchy about taking photographs. One guard looked at my phone to make sure I didn’t keep photos of something, I’m not even sure what. It didn’t really look like a place of strategic importance. I re-took it later.

Another called out to me from far away when I was taking photos of a church but he was far away and I figured it was safe to just walk away. I started taking less obvious photos, even sneaking photos when I thought someone might object.

Nobody saw me take this one of the central cabinet for battling corruption. I wonder if I could bribe myself out of it if they did. 🙂

You can get all sorts of things in the street. Anything from food, clothes, shoes, cigarettes (sold individually) to phones and sim cards.

You can get your shoes shined or repaired, you can even get your watch or phone repaired. Well, I’m not sure about that one, but you can get it taken apart for sure.

One thing that was particularly interesting was the number of times I saw cracked phone screens sold. I’m not sure who and why creates the demand, but the supply is high.

Key phones are still very much a thing here, I think I saw more people using those than touch-screens.

Friday afternoon we rented a car and went north to a beach. We got pulled over by the police. They wanted our passports. My friend didn’t have his on him. They kept insisting. After a while, they told me to leave my friend there and to get his passport from the hotel. We said ok. They kinda looked disappointed that we accepted this solution and told us to wait. They would speak to the boss. Very soon they came back and gave us our papers.

-Ok, we let you go

Thank you!

-Driiink

What?

-Drink, drink!

oOoooooo…

I got 500 monopoly money and gave it to the lady who asked. She pocketed it with a very skilled movement. As we were about to leave I heard her mimicking my ooo and laughing with her colleagues. I wasn’t even mad, it wasn’t a lot of money and the entertainment value of the whole event was pretty high.

The beach was nice. But again, not exceptional. Also, jellyfish.

I liked Zanzibar way more. When you park the car, you get offered a car wash. You can refuse but when you want to leave a bunch of guys inform you that you owe them money for watching your car. They wanted 100, which is really not worth fighting over, but I did anyway. I wanted to see what happens. They insisted that they were not ripping us off, that even locals pay. Ended up giving them the 60 we had laying around in the car. I don’t think anything would have happend if we had just driven away but I wasn’t all that keen on finding out.

Ponta do Ouro

On Saturday we went south, to Ponta do Ouro. Got pulled over at a speed trap. 101 in a 60 area. I had to pay a fine, 4000 monopoly money. But a 2000 money bribe was also fine. The bribe also bought me a tip, there was another checkpoint ahead.

Ponta do Ouro turned out to be a charming place. Touristy but not europeanized. A sand road, a bunch of huts with knick-knacks, bars, restaurants, and a beautiful beach.

I felt like a kid, jumping into crashing waves, frolicking around in the ocean.

After we were done with that, we went back to the car. I was barefoot. The sand was incredibly hot, I barely made it back. Got shoes, got dry clothes, went to one of the most charming cafes ever.

Got a beer. The volume of the bottle made me smile, 550ml. Like, we know you want a little extra, here it is. 🙂

I felt at peace. Relaxed. Happy.

4G, full bars. Download speed is better than in Maputo. Huh. We could work here.

Hey, wait a minute. We could work here! Let’s check prices! So we go to a place, they have bungalows right at the beach, wonderful view, 2700/night. Per person? No, whole place.

If we stay for 10 days do we get a discount? Yes, for 10 days I can give you for 2000. So we booked the place for next Friday, and kinda wished we hadn’t paid so far in advance in Maputo. But that’s fine, it’s only 5 days.

Maputo reserve

We wanted to go to the reserve next. Sounded like it should be pretty. Also, there were road signs warning of elephants attacking cars so probably elephants? Cute cute beautiful elephants!

Google suggested a suspicious road. I decided to try it. It was a sand road, deep at times. We were in a VW Polo. We almost got stuck at one point, we barely made it out. At one point, we got to an intersection. Where we were supposed to go barely even resembled a path. We decided that attempting that in this car was pushing it. If it was my car and I had some support in case things go wrong, I would try it, just to see if I could do it. But not now.

After a while, we found an official entrance. Only 4×4 vehicles beyond this point. Oh, well. But then we called the rental to ask if we could trade in the Polo for a 4×4 and, surprisingly, they told us to come in tomorrow morning, even though it was Sunday. So the day just kept getting better!

We went to a small town to find a restaurant. We got lucky again, found a place with delicious food and very low prices.

And there, after a great lunch, suddenly and with no warning, I was there, she was not. My allergies acted up for a minute. Nobody noticed. I got it together.

We took a slightly longer road back to Maputo. We saw a lake on the map and wanted to check it out.

At some point there was a police checkpoint. An officer saw us approaching, got up, walked over to the road, stopped us, looked at us and waved us on. We stopped next to him, just in case, and he told us to move along. I have no Idea what that was about.

We found one of the worst road I’ve ever driven on. Asphalt with deep holes spaced so that it was impossible to miss them all. Best you can do is try to find a path that will do the least damage.

The only one worse that I can remember is a remote road in Bulgaria I took years ago. The lake was nice, though, and the road got better later. It took us through some picturesque places so definitely worth it in my book.

We got the 4×4. Expensive as hell, but worth it. Fun fact, all cars have their license plate numbers engraved into the side mirrors.

By the time we found the right place (wasn’t the one where we got the Polo) and got all the paperwork done, it was 11. We went back to the sus google road. It would definitely have been too much for the Polo but the Mazda had no problems. It was a dream come true, proper african off road in a car that can handle it. But the path took us to a swamp after a while. We decided to turn back at the last moment. We almost got stuck turning around. We took some photos and headed back to the official entrance to the reserve.

Switching from 4wd to rwd made it even more fun. I was loving every minute of the off road. The nice asphalt part was a drag. We got to the entrance, filled out enough forms to get a mortgage, paid some money and got in.

More off road, more fun! No animals, though. We stopped by a lake to eat.

Saw the best no swimming sign. 🙂

Own part of the adventure!
(Buy NFT)

We got to a nice viewpoint. Private beach, though, so you can’t really get to the best spot. We had just about enough time to make it back to the entrance before closing.

We took a different road back and at one point we ran into trouble. The “road” had a high central ridge and two grooves filled with deep sand. The central ridge was hard, wet sand. The grooves were deep dry sand. At one point we got stranded, the wheels dug into the soft sand and the car was stranded on the ridge. We tried digging with our hands, lifting the car with a jack and putting wood under the wheels but nothing worked. We were stuck.

We figured we’d sleep there. The reserve would open at 6 the next morning, someone was bound to run into us by 11-noon.

Nothing to do now but wait. It was actually quite nice. No light pollution so the stars were clear. Before you judge the photos, keep in mind they are all taken with my phone. An incredible amount of animal sounds, quite loud but soothing.

I got the best photobomb. I was trying to take a photo of the stars and a firefly got in my shot.

Noon came and nobody came by. At 13:30 we decided to go look for help. The decision was not a trivial one, the sign said not to exit the vehicle at any point apart for designated areas. This was not a designated area. This is a wild animal resort. Wild african animals. On the other hand, nobody had passed all day and they were less and less likely to as time went by. The reserve closes at six, people will soon be going towards the exit. It was hot and we had drunk the last of our water the day before. My friend is a city child, terrified of bugs, snakes, germs, pretty much anything that isn’t made of concrete. This was much harder for him than it was for me. Thankfully, there were clouds. At one point it even started to rain. I licked leaves to get a few precious drops of water into my very dry mouth. We saw fresh paw prints in the sand, something had walked there since we passed through the day before. Something big.

We saw a snake.

We even saw elephant tracks. Those didn’t scare me, though, I figured they had no reason to hurt us.

Finally, after an hour and a half, we reached somebody’s home. It was a couple of small shacks, one seemed to be a kitchen, one a toilet and the third must have been residential. We were greeted by a guy with a large welcoming grin. He got up from a mattress he had out in the open. Three of the most adorable children ever were running around.

He spoke a little english, he understood what our problem was. Sha-wall, dig, cut some trees, pushing car out, he said. We tried to tell him that the car was far, he was undeterred. He sent the children somewhere and ran to get a shovel. Literally ran, even though it was 8 million degrees out. I asked for water, they gave us some. It was terrible, warm and with a thick taste of plastic. And yet, it was the best. We went back to the car together. Our new friend was wearing long pants and heavy work shoes. The heat didn’t seem to bother him at all.

Soon another guy caught up. That must have been who the children ran off to get. The pace they set was a little much for the two of us so we had to ask for a break. They rolled a cigarette but they didn’t use rolling paper, they used pieces of paper torn out of a notebook.

When we reached the car they immediately got to work. Their movements were quick and energetic, the heat didn’t seem to slow them down at all. I tried helping but I didn’t do much, they basically did all the work.

They didn’t drink at all. Once the car was out, we drove them back. We gave them a 1000 each. They seemed displeased at first, I began to think they expected more. But their expression soon turned into a grin and they thanked us cordially. Nooo, thank YOU, we said. I guess they weren’t expecting anything and their initial reaction was confusion, not displeasure.

On the way out we got to see a herd of giraffes.

We made it back to the gate. They didn’t mention us saying an extra day or charge us anything for it.

Once we got internet, messages started pouring in. Mine were just regular correspondence, nothing special. My friends’ family, on the other hand, were in a state of panic. They called the police, the embassy, they got into his accounts to get his devices’ IP, went through his email to look for any confirmation of booking/payment, reached out to all of his friends. He’s not really the adventurous type and it’s not like him to miss work so I guess I can see why they overreacted, they got worried.

Clean, cool water never tasted better. A bed was never more comfortable.

Back in Maputo

I stumbled upon a red light district on my way to the bus station, trying to figure out how to get to Punta do Ouro on Friday. I guess the good looking ones are all on tinder…

I bought a kernel of grilled corn in the street. Not as delicious as I expected, but not terrible. Probably would have been a lot better with a little salt.

It started to rain. I didn’t mind. My allergies started acting up. Nobody could notice in the rain. There was a sinister beauty to the gray bay.

The seaside promenade was empty. Everything looked frozen in time, apart from the rain and me.

The next day I went to the promenade in the evening. It was bursting with life, people walking, jogging, exercising, skating. The police will not let you sit on the wall.

The promenade is a great place for walk, I went every day after we came back. They have recycling containers shaped like bottles in several places along the promenade, in groups of three. One for plastic, metal and glass.

Unfortunately, all three are filled with regular garbage. I felt kinda stupid looking for the appropriate one for my bottle. Too bad they’re misused, it’s a nice idea.

Speaking of misuse, trees in the city are frequently used as toilets. I came across evidence of such use many times, and once saw a guy in the act. Not some strange hour either, in the middle of the day. Next to a 4 lane road, practically in the city center.

Not technically misuse, but close; they put rims on everything. You’ll often see cars with rims worth more than the rest of the car.

rhdr

Some cops misuse their power. I was stopped by a patrol, they asked for my passport. I said it was in the hotel, it wouldn’t fit in my shorts, I had my id and a photo of my visa. They put on a tired old show, executed with no real effort or grace. One of them threatened me with arrest and a 10k fine. I said fine, take me to the station and immediately another one of them pulled me aside and offered to “save me” for 5k. I offered 1. We settled on 2. I would have had them take me to the station, just to see how far they would go with their little act but we had plans to leave Maputo the next morning so I figured I’d just pay and move on.

There are quite a few homeless people. I don’t exactly care, I don’t get an urge to help. They humble me, in a sense that I may be one bad decision away from becoming them. And if I do, nobody will care, nobody will help me, and that’s just the world we live in. So I don’t let myself get emotionally involved. Animals are a different story. No animal ever gambled or drank it’s house away, made a series of avoidable bad decisions, did anything wrong, basically. The day before we left Maputo, my friend and I went for a walk, we took the long way around to an electronics store and we’d get back in time for him to start work. On the way we saw a dog, she was skin and bone, could barely walk. As we came close, she made a few shaky, hopeful steps towards us and looked at us with the saddest eyes. It was heart wrenching. We had nothing, we walked by. Soon, my friend asked if there was a store near by. I said no, and besides, we were in a hurry. We got to the shopping center, some 2000 steps away, according to my bracelet. I asked him if he was ok to go home by himself. – Yes, why? You go to work, I want to go back and feed the dog. – I support that 100%! Make sure you get some water too! I did. I bought 2kg of dog food. Sure enough, she was there when I got back. I called, she came. Barely, she was so weak. It warmed my heart to see her eat.

I left the rest of the food there. I wonder if I made a difference. I wonder if she was even able to protect the food or if she just got the one meal and was chased away by a stronger animal. I didn’t see any around, so maybe she got a couple of meals out of it. Maybe that was enough to get her to a better spot, a more permanent food source. I hope so.

Next morning, a friendly guy from the hotel helped us find a taxi at a great rate. We tipped him so he walked us out and waited for the taxi with us. The driver spoke very little english but was very nice. He kept calling me boss. In fact, so did almost everybody else in Maputo who wanted something from me. There were a couple of funny road signs along the way. One was beware of dumper trucks. Fair enough, I guess 🙂

Another was no selling stuff by the road.

I had a sign that said no building houses but I couldn’t find it in my library. Strange. Luckily, my friend had it so I got it back.

And there was this advertizing marvel. Tomorrow never come. What a strange message to use. 🙂

I asked if I needed to keep my mask on, he said relax, only when police. So before each checkpoint I’d put on the mask and he’d fasten his seatbelt.

Half way there, he pulled over to add oil to the engine.

Punta do Ouro again

Here I was no longer the boss, I became amigo, sometimes friend. The street vendors come on strong but are harmless. You can just walk past but if you decide to indulge them and take a look at what they have, they might just surprise you with something you actually want.

Prices are heavily negotiable. If they decline your offer and you walk away, it’s not uncommon for them to run after you and accept.

I had barracuda for lunch. Just because it sounds so cool. I kept hearing the music and playing the scene of Lucy Liu walking from Charlie’s angels in my mind while I was waiting. Shut up! 🙂 It’s actually quite good. Bigger bones than I imagined.

I know, I know, food pics are lame. But Barracuda… 🙂

First evening here, I went for a walk on the beach. I soon ran into a guard who told me I needed to leave, the beach is closed after six. I turned back, confused. I passed our bungalov and kept walking, nobody was on this side of the beach to stop me. I figured it must have been a restricted part of the beach that I was not allowed to access.

Later that night, we walked over to the ocean from our bungalow. We were trying to figure out what the orange/red light that appeared to be coming towards us was. It was growing and soon became a bit large to be a boat light. All of a sudden, we were greeted by a silhouette that appeared next to us. It was a police officer, the sand had silenced his approach. There was another one next to him holding a, you guessed it, AK. They were polite, asked us where we were from, what we were doing there. I asked them about the mystery light. The moon, they said. Later, as clouds drifted further apart and it rose higher in the sky, it became more obvious.

In our defense, it was so low it seemed to be floating on the ocean and it was a color that I had never seen the moon take before. After that was settled, they went on to explain that nobody was allowed on the beach after 6. Since we were new there, they sent us off with a warning. Nice guys, nothing like their Maputo colleagues.

Next day we both got up stupid early and had coffe at the beach.

We decided to check out that scuba place again. It’s got to be fun, right? So we signed up. Pool training the same day, ocean dive the next. We went for breakfast/lunch to that charming cafe from last time. All the food was amazing.

Catch of the day is :drumroll: Barracuda 🙂 Ok, no more food

What got me most, though, was the toilet. It’s basically a tall wooden fence around a palm tree with a seat and a sink. Stone floor, no roof. Immaculately clean. Like something out of a cartoon. I went back in later just to see it again.

The pool practice dive went ok, it took a moment to get used to breathing underwater. There are a few simple things you need to learn. I was not expecting there to be an up and down button on the gear. It was kinda cool. We chatted with our instructor on the way, tried to make sense of the beach rules. He couldn’t see any either, especially since the rest of the town was free to roam around in at any time. He made jokes about covid only liking the beach at night.

We went for a swim in the ocean after. It was windy and the waves were tall, much fun. However, with the fun came a problem. Jellyfish.

Turns out, not exactly jellyfish but eh, close enough. 🙂 After the sixth sting, I decided it wasn’t worth it and got out. The last one, on my back, was really painful.

Ouch. And no, I did not. I know what you were thingking, I watched Friends too 🙂

We went for a walk and were lucky enough to catch a boat exit the ocean, it just charged the beach and glided out of the water and across the sand.

And at the end of an amazing day, back in my room, I was there, she was not.

I was awake before my alarm went off. I took a couple of photos while drinking my coffee at the beach but I made it quick, we didn’t want to be late, even though we kinda figured there was a safety margin calculated into the meeting time.

There was, nothing happened for the first half an hour. We stared at a lady setting up her photo equipment, it was impressive. Probably cost more than my car. We met the lady and her friend, they were very nice, shared tips with us since they were experienced divers. They offered to pair up with us on the dive to look after us.

A tractor with a large trailer took us to the beach. There were two groups of four, each with their own instructor. We were told that the ladies were to get on the boat while it was still out on the sand and the gents were to stay out to keep the boat steady in the shallow water. That’s sexist, I exclaimed, I’m going home! I mocked a turn. It got a big laugh from the group. One lady, I’d say american, said good on you, smiling but not exactly laughing. I hope she got I was joking. They use the tractor and a big log to push the boat in.

The boat ride was exciting, the waves were tall enough to make it feel a bit like a rollercoaster. When we stopped and the final preparations started, I started feeling like my lungs were a size too small. Like I couldn’t get enough air. I figured it would pass. We jumped off the boat and started our descent. I was uncomfortable. My ears started hurting, I couldn’t pressurise properly, I somehow got some water in my nose, I got disoriented and had a full on anxiety attack. I signalled I was going up. The Belgian guy we met earlier went after me and tried to help me. I went under two more times but both times I went back up, I just couldn’t relax. He took me back to the boat and went down. It was so nice of him to put in all that effort. Back on the boat, I thought, well, this was an expensive boat ride. I was disappointed and angry at my brain for letting me down like this. I quickly got it together, though. The captain asked if I wanted to go back down, I said yes. Both groups had already gone down so I had to wait for a bit for our instructor to come back up to get me. I dived back in, pressurised ok this time. The instructor led me all the way down. I was fine.

It is different down there. It’s calm and relaxing. The fish are so cool. There was a big one just chilling with small fish nibbling on it, cleaning it. Like a fish car wash. It wasn’t as lively and colorful as the reef in Zanzibar where I snorkelled, but the depth gave it a different atmosphere. We were 14 meters deep. Looking up at the surface was amazing! The current down there was surprising, you could actually feel it on your body. The clown fish weren’t exactly orange. I guess it was deep enough for the red part of the spectrum to be reduced. At times the white parts glowed blue, like a white t-shirt under a uv light. Apparently there was a turtle but I missed it. I did see one of those huge white eels with black spots. They took photos, they would send them to us later. Time flew by and it was time to ascend. We all got back on the boat. The other instructor asked me about what had happened, I explained, she said it’s normal on the first dive, apparently it happens a lot. She also said that the conditions were not ideal today, the current was strong and that impacts the visibility. I was happy I made it down after all. I think I want to do it again. I’m over the fear, I got the basics down, I think I would enjoy it even more next time. Maybe in Mauritius, if I can afford it.

Fun fact, I forgot to take my bracelet off for the dive. I’m not gonna advertise the brand but it’s one that makes affordable electronics. 14m is way beyond the safe submersion limit but it came out working flawlessly.

My friend had a bit of an issue coming up from the dive, he told me. He over inflated his floaty thingy (I immediately forgot what it was called) and started going up too fast. That’s actually dangerous. The same Belgian guy who tried to help me dive grabbed him and deflated the thingy for him. He then guided him up safely.

I heard the word buoyancy enough times to last me a lifetime. 🙂 The Belgian said mine was great for a first dive.

On the way back the boat did that jumping ashore thing only this time we were on it. Back in the camp, we invited the nice Belgians for a drink but they were going on another dive. I gave them contact info to reach out when they were done.

The work week sort of slid by without anything noticeable happening. Every morning I got up stupid early, went out to sit in the sand, drink my coffee and stare at the ocean. Then a walk, a swim and work. We’d make a few swimming breaks during the day and a lunch break.

We had our laundry done. We were told we’d have to “pay a little bit” . 18 shirts, boxer shorts and socks between us, 25 Euro. I’d hardly call that a little bit.

A guy that came with the laundry ladies went knock knock. And I don’t mean he knocked. He actually said the words! Cute.

We made a plan, early March my friend was going home and I was going to Mauritius. We would catch up again in April on Madagascar. I went online and booked a place to stay. I soon got a message from the guy renting the place, it was damaged in the storm and he wasn’t sure it would be ready. Ok, I’ll keep looking. His next message said the place would be ready but there was an issue with the price. Somehow the site charged me less and he wanted me to pay the difference when I got there. I refused and asked him to cancel the booking and give me a full refund. He said he was new to the site and didn’t know how it worked, he didn’t receive any money and doesn’t know how to issue a refund. I figured I wouldn’t get my money back if I cancelled the booking so I advised him to contact the site support. I also mentioned he should check his user agreement with the site because asking for money outside the platform could be against the rules. He confirmed the booking at the price I had paid, no extra charges. Hopefully that was an honest mistake and not a scam.

One morning we went out for coffee and found a lovely place with a gazebo. Next day, we brought our laptops and spent a couple of hours in the worlds most relaxed workplace. There was no power outlet, though, so when our batteries went out we had to go back.

On Friday, on my morning walk, “Under your scars” by Godsmack came on. And just like that, I was there, she was not. Allergies flared up. I got back to the room. I started working. It got better.

We figured we should go out. We hadn’t really done that at all, the closest we got was the late dinner after we went missing in the reserve. That’s the most dramatic description of the event I heard, btw. And technically, it’s true, as far as everybody we know was concerned, we went missing for 2 days.

So, drinks. We heard music from the beach bar. We figured there must be a path at the edge of the beach that was legal to take. We were stopped by a local. – Beech clozed. We’re trying to get to the beach bar. – Ok, let’s go. I knew where this was going, we weren’t getting rid of him easily. Sure enough, when we got to the place, he sat down with us. Another guy asked if he could join us, his wife had gone home and he was alone. Sure. This guy spoke English and turned out to be quite charming. We bought our guide a beer but he barely spoke any English so we focused our attention on our new friend. I paid cash for the drinks and instead of change got an IOU! Written in pen on a small piece of paper. It made me laugh so hard, it actually put me in a better mood.

I had another beer. Our new friend was great for conversation. He travelled, he was a dj, and now he was in IT. He had some positive life views like you need to hang out with girls, even if just for conversation because girls are great teachers. And also, otherwise you’ll just end up talking about work among yourselves. Hang out with younger people so you catch their energy and not become boring. Enjoy life because you never know when your glass will tip over. I love that metaphore.

But my favourite thing that he said was what locals call white people. The shiny ones! I kept saying that for days!

He suggested we move to a different table, a tall one where you stand and “feel more like in a club”, we did. He bought me another beer. He got us dancing a little. Our guide went to the dance floor and started throwing shapes. He kinda looked like he was possessed by the devil. He was soon topped by a different guy who had even crazier moves. Very fun to watch. Our guide started asking for money. He was starting to annoy me. He got his drink, I figured we were more than square. Our new friend stepped in and spoke to him in portuguese, he gave him a little cash when he sent him away. He was genuinely interested in keeping our experience a pleasant one, I was touched. Also a little drunk at this point. But our friend said I just had to try the local thing, R&R, so he got one for me. Meanwhile, my friend was sipping on his Sprite, he doesn’t drink. R&R is raspberry and rum. It’s red, fizzy, tasty and has a kick. Made me dance some more and I generally do not dance. He showed us a video of his wife, I made a joke about knowing her from tinder, we laughed.

He mentioned a party the next day. It was technically in South Africa but we wouldn’t need passports. Going to a different country illegally with someone you just met sounds very close to the world’s worst idea. I was into it, it sounded like a once-in-a-lifetime adventure.

I bumped into him the next day when I went out to get internet. He was with his wife, in a good mood, no trace of a hangover, unlike me. He said he’d be in touch later but then he went silent. I was a little disappointed but also a little relieved, I was tired and didn’t exactly feel like partying anyways.

The guys at the internet stand started throwing wild amounts at me. I bought it before, I knew what the prices were, so I kept saying no until they came up with a fair price. Oh, and gave up on charging an additional service fee which they made up. I don’t hold it against them, though, they’re just trying to get by. And they probably think that since I’m travelling, I must be rich. If they knew how rich I actually was, they would be offering me tips…

So Saturday went by quietly and we wanted to find something to do on Sunday. All the internet had to offer was diving. Shark diving was for experienced divers, so that was out. We were left with swimming with the dolphins, renting a quad or going exploring on foot. Maybe stepping over into South Africa illegally, just for the life achievement.

We got up early. There was no gas for the stove so we couldn’t make coffee. We remembered the diving place had a coffee machine and they were all there stupid early so we figured we’d give it a shot.

There was coffee. Once we were there we asked about our photos again. The guy apologised, gave some excuse and promised to send them. While we were drinking our coffee, we asked about shark diving. It was indeed an advanced activity so we couldn’t do it. We eavesdropped on people being told that the weather was bad so there was no swimming with dolphins, just possible sightings from the boat. So we were down two options. We stopped at two places renting quads, they seemed a little expensive. So, walking it was.

We got plenty of water this time and set out to find a restaurant on the beach, almost at the border with SA. Google said it was there but could only route part of the way there. We figured we’d follow google as far as it would take us and try to manage the rest of the way. The google route ended in an abandoned part of a camp. It had a spooky post-apocalyptic vibe.

After a couple of dead ends we found a path that circled towards the beach, it seemed, so we took it. It took us to a part of the camp that was in use, with nice looking cabins.

We came across a couple of guards but they said the restaurant didn’t exist. We were set on finding out for ourselves so we asked if the path went down to the beach. One of the guards walked us to a trail breaking off from the main path, beach there. We reached the beach and started west.

There was nobody there. The waves were much taller here, the point must have offered Punta more protection than we realized. We saw a couple of buildings ahead. One looked abandoned for a while. The next one was anyone’s guess. As we moved closer, we saw a couple on a deck. We figured we’d go up and ask. As we got near, we saw a sign, it was the name of the restaurant we were looking for but it looked very old. It looked like the place existed a long time ago but was long forgotten. But we’d at least go up for the view and a drink of water.

A steep sand slope and very steep stairs lead us to a wooden deck with tables and benches but no sign of recent use. Another flight of stairs took us to another deck with tables, some people and a welcoming waiter. It was open!

We picked a table and sat down but were asked to move to a smaller table, since we were not a large group. It soon made sense because the place soon got quite full. Even the lower deck got parasols and tablecloths. The view was stunning, open sea and sand beaches went on forever. The fact that it was so inaccessible made it all the more magical. A restaurant at the end of the world. The waiter was a chatty guy, asked whether we came from SA. I guess that’s because he saw us coming in from the beach. We asked about the border, he said there wasn’t one. So you just walk across? Yes, just walk! Africa is nice! he said with a smile.

I knew I had to go walk over to SA. But first a beer, lunch, a bit of rest. There was another entrance to the terrace, the toilette was through there and behind the building. As I stepped out, I saw a short path lead to a parking lot filled with cars. So, not that inaccessible after all. Google punked us again. But I actually preferred it, it made the whole experience so much more exotic.

My friend didn’t like my illegal idea so I went by myself. Very soon my phone said I was in SA. I l took a photo and went back.

I looked at the waves again. The larger ones broke in the distance but even the smaller ones that made it to the shore seemed impressive. I decided to take them on. I lost. As soon as I got in, a white foamy monster hit me and shoved me to the sand. Fair enough, ocean, you win, no swimming for me.

Having seen how close it was and that there was, in fact, noone to get in trouble with, my friend decided to claim the achievement as well. I joined him. This time I spotted the border, I had missed it the last time. It was marked with a stick and a bottle!

I looked back on the spot I tried to go swimming earlier, it was in Mozambique. So I had to go back in, in SA. It went slightly better, I got knocked over again but the water was a little deeper and I landed on my hands and feet this time, not my side like last time. This meant I got out without being covered in sand. Great success!

I looked towards SA, it looked majestic.

I felt strangely drawn to just keep walking, to explore the distant view. I looked at the map, there was a gulf, it must be really beautiful there. I could make it there in a couple of hours. My desire to go grew. But I came to my senses. That would be pushing it. Going that deep into another country could not be shrugged off as charming, it was a serious offense. I wasn’t going to push my luck. This time.

We took the road home. Much less poetic. We did get to see a cool lizard.

And the most confusing house number.

Near our hotel, we were offered quads again. I asked for the price, declined the offer and was asked for a counter offer. Now we’re talking. I guess at 3 PM their prospects decline so anything is better than nothing. I offered to get two hours for the price of one and they accepted. I went to shower first. My friend decided he would rather live than ride with me.

I got back to the place with my license, international license, id and passport, expecting tons of paperwork. Instead, he went to fuel the quad, came back, got off it and said here. Didn’t even ask if I knew how to drive. I’m good for fuel for the two hours? Yes, yes, no problem. I had driven them before but it had been a while. It was a completely different experience here, in the sand. It’s like it has a mind of its own. I had issues adjusting for a bit, gave one girl a scare by driving towards her just a touch longer than seemed safe. It was fine, though, no real danger. Still, sorry about that, unknown girl! It wasn’t much fun, it started looking like a waste of money. But as I went further, there was less traffic, more room to experiment. I got better at enforcing my will on the machine. It got fun. Soon I was drifting, jumping, doing donuts.

I got a couple of nice finds, such as a drive-through booze place and the smile again bakery.

1 hour and 45 minutes later, the machine sputtered and died. I checked the tank, dry. Yes, yes, no problem, they said. Well, problem. A local soon pulled over. He wanted to give me a tow but couldn’t find a rope so he said he’d just let the owner know. He did, they came 10 minutes later with a can of gas, apologising. I wasn’t even mad, the day was so great this didn’t even put a dent in my mood. I came back exhausted but content.

The night was not great. I woke up in a pool of sweat. I fell back asleep. Woke up again, drenched. Moved to the other, dry, side of the bed. Dreamt about her again. Woke up wet and freezing. Woke up just wet. Got up feeling like I was coming down with something. Had my coffee at the beach. I wished I was home. If only home were a place, you could buy a ticket to get there. I didn’t fight the sadness, I let it wash over me and recede. I went for my walk, it was a little harder than usual. Went out to eat, went looking for a place where we could do our PCR tests before the flight, now walking was a lot harder than usual. Took it easy for the rest of the day. I wasn’t full on sick but I wasn’t fine either. It felt kinda like a concussion. I got scared of corona. Not corona itself, the fact that it would make me miss my flight. I decided not to think about it.

I had something on my foot for a week or so. It didn’t look too frightening so I ignored expecting it to go away on its own.

It didn’t so I figured I’d send a pic to my doctor just to put my mind at ease. She did quite the opposite, told me I should be worried and to go to a doctor asap.

I sweated intensely that night again, I began to think that maybe the foot and the sweating were connected. And the next day it started to look like the thing on my foot was spreading so I started to really take it seriously.

It rained heavily. I went out in my swimsuit and put a t-shirt and a towel in my bag, it has a rain cover. I got to a cafe, wiped myself dry and put on the shirt. I had coffee, then some food. My friend joined me. After he left, I waited a bit more for the rain to stop. People were using parasols as umbrellas.

Not this guy, though. He had an umbrella but was clearly too cool to use it.

When it almost stopped, I went to the market to find an umbrella. I couldn’t find one. The rain picked up again so I went to the bungalow. I was completely wet by the time I got there. I changed, got my jacket, a hat, and went back out to get my foot taken care of.

The healthcare facility was not what a European person would imagine it to be. Not at all. If I saw it in a movie, I’d say it’s not a believable scene. But there it was. I took some photos when I got there and was warned against doing that by the pharmacist.

I hadn’t even seen him in the pharmacy window. He said that the government doesn’t allow photographing public institutions without authorization. So I’d have to sneak the rest of the photos. The pharmacist took me in to see the doctor.

He stayed to translate. The first thing that grabbed my attention in the office was a wooden penis on the desk. I looked twice to make sure I was seeing correctly. It was a small office and I knew I wouldn’t be able to grab a photo. Nobody was going to believe this. They wrote down my info, I showed my travel insurance to the pharmacist, he read through and said that was ok but didn’t make any note of any insurance details. He stepped out. Soon after, the doctor stepped out to get some supplies. I was left alone! Dickpic!

She scrubbed my wound. Really scrubbed, she was not trying to be gentle about it. She dressed it, wrote a prescription and sent me off to the pharmacy. I got some pills. Not a blister pack or anything of the sort. They take them out of huge plastic bottles and put them in zip bags. Even though I had shown my insurance, I was asked to pay cash. 1 monopoly money. One. A cup of coffee costs 120. A medical exam and a four day supply of pills cost 1.

The doctor didn’t seem worried about my foot so now neither was I, it would be fine.

The next day we were able to find the elusive clinic that we were told could have our PCR tests done. We went looking for it on two separate occasions before, but couldn’t find it. Google was quite wrong about where it was, again. It was wrong about the route to the reserve and about quite a few things in Maputo. I wonder what it is that confuses it here. Anyways, a really nice guy drew us a map in the sand and it got us there.

They could do the test for us, this meant we could go straight to the airport from here, no need to stay in Maputo for a day.

Friday. Time to do the PCR, flight check-in, packing. The end of a chapter was nearing. I woke up thinking about her. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to forget. But I was there, she was not. My life was beyond amazing this past month. But deep down, something was missing. Home.

Well, I may not have a home. But I do have a ticket to an island paradise! Some would argue that is better. It was almost 6, time for my morning antibiotics. Time to start the day, leave sad thoughts in bed. My foot was getting better.

A walk, a swim, great lunch. A lovely last day.

We went for some dessert, we got brownies with ice cream. Mine had a chocolate dome. I began to crack it so the waiter came over to explain I was eating it wrong. The cup of chocolate on the side was hot and I was supposed to pour it over the dome.

He told us to take a video and he was not wrong, it looked soo cool as it was melting the dome. It was tasty too so a total win.

In the evening we went to do our check-in. I went to do my friends first but soon ran into an issue – a lebanese visa was required because he had a layover in Beirut. The interface would not let me procede without one. We went to re-check requirements and/or look into an e-visa. A couple of sources claimed that no transit visa was necessary for his passport. So maybe this was just poorly designed or outdated software that the company was using. So I tried inputting random values in the visa number field and The interface allowed me to continue and get the boarding passes. That was scary for a bit.

We never got our diving photos. They were very sorry but there was an issue and the photos were just gone. And no, we could not get a discount to go again and get new ones. So that was that.

Next morning there was no water in the bungalow. Apparently their water pump had broken down so they brought water in buckets, so that we could shower.

It’s that color when it comes out of the pipes too. Mostly. Sometimes it’s almost clear. It’s just sand

The taxi that we arranged the day before was 2 minutes early, a level of professionalism I was not expecting since everybody seems to be very loose with time here and things are rarely on time.

He offered for us to connect our phone to the radio and play our own music.

I wonder what he thought when he heard songs in croatian and german. He stopped to point out a giraffe by the side of the road and waited for us to take a pic. You can barely see it in the pic but never mind.

When we asked for a toilet break, he offered us paper. Top notch taxi service!

At the airport, we had to go to the airline stand, even though we did our checkin online. They checked our PCRs and printed out boarding passes for all connecting flights.

At security, my stuff raised a flag and I was taken aside. I had two small bottles full of sand, from two different beaches.

Our sand is nice? asked the friendly officer. They let me keep it.

They must have had a real problem with tp thieves at some point. 🙂